Car Culture - The Culture of "F**k You"

Bad interactions can skew our perceptions much more strongly than good. This is highly unfortunate in some ways, but can carry important lessons as well. Take for instance the thankfully small number of motorists who belong to a small sub-group of Car Culture. Such motorists belong to the part of car culture I think of as the "culture of f**k you".

This is the motorist that races up behind you at a stop sign, engine revving. You stop your bike, they edge up way farther than necessary (see the video at the end of this post for a good example), then as you proceed through the intersection, they speed after you and fly by too close. Out of concern for their safety, the responsible cyclist no doubt looks back to make sure this person isn't about to hit them. As you look at the driver, an unavoidable mix of confusion and anger might fill your face, but you keep your mouth closed - lessons learned from too many interactions with the culture of f**k you and a general belief in not automatically thinking the worst of people. But as you look, you see those two powerfully pointless words on the driver's lips - "F**k you!"

As usually happens, such things only escalate a situation and of course this genius in the "safety" of his steel cage thinks he's seen the last of you. But you follow him now, his words having transformed you into an asshole-seeking missile. He stops his grey Ridgeline at a red light or parking lot (or to drop off his son at El Cerrito Plaza BART station). He tries to ignore you outside his window at first, but finally rolls down the window and you inquire why he felt the need to yell those two words at you. His response comes as a surprise, though by now it shouldn't, "because you were looking at me, why were you looking at me?" Well, Mr. F**k You Ridgeline, "because I wanted to be careful and observant and make sure I wasn't about to be run over." "That's good. (window rolls up)" His son looked to be about my age which makes me wonder - how would this guy like people driving and talking like that around his son? Why on earth would he do it to someone else's son, or another human being in general? Well, because once he steps into his car he belongs to the car culture of f**k you, as perfectly described by Louis CK.

Where on earth does this culture come from? What makes an otherwise (hopefully) rational person yell "f**k you" at a complete stranger for merely looking at them? I don't pretend to have the answer, but I have some guesses. 1) A deep-seated insecurity and anger toward anything and anyone different. Perhaps such people are just generally angry at the world and for some reason just seem to get angry when they see someone riding a bike. 2) From years as part of the culture of f**k you, these people don't even know how to act like decent human beings anymore and aren't even aware how horrible they are. 3) They've never ridden a bike on a road and don't realize what it feels like to have a multi-ton vehicle piloted by someone highly unaware of what happens when a car driver hits a cyclist (hint, the cyclist always loses). 4) They're so selfish and clueless that 1 second of their time is worth more than your safety. 5) They're jealous. Riding a bike is tons of fun, despite jerks like this guy. You get and stay healthy, save tons of money, and aren't choking the planet with your actions.

I actually think in most cases it's a mix of all five of the above, plus 100 other possible reasons. For instance, I'm sure most members of the car culture of f**k you have interacted with truly horrible cyclists and this has clouded their judgment - I don't hold cyclists as a group blameless in this situation by any means. But in the end, it's up to all of us to act like decent human beings and look out for each others' safety and well-being. I was doing what I could in that case; the ball was in his court and he swung and missed.

What lessons can we all take from something like this? First, it's obviously important to keep in mind that people like this make up the vast minority of drivers out there. Thankfully, most human beings are patient, good people or at least decent enough that even if they think bad thoughts, they would never yell "f**k you!" or honk at a complete stranger for looking at them. But it's also important to remember is that this guy isn't alone. While in the minority, too many like him are out there. When off the road, they also populate web comment sections with words of hate and claims that they'd like to run over every cyclist they see. For some reason, it's OK for such comments to be put forth by members of the car culture of f**k you, while we would never tolerate such vitriol about other groups. So while it's important to not assume that all motorists are going to act like this, you also have to be prepared for those that will and be as safe as you can. As examples of the culture of f**k you in action, I leave you with the following video: