Prepare for Zombies, Ride Your Bike

I'm a big fan of zombie stories. There are so many fantastic parallels to our modern lives - disease outbreaks, societal breakdown, and resource scarcity, to name just a few. Many different sources have covered strategies for surviving a zombie outbreak, most famously and completely in the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. REI also has a pretty great guide from the outdoors-enthusiast perspective. But one thing that most of these guides don't stress enough is the sheer, awesome utility of a bike in the event of a zombie outbreak (Brooks does give it due cred, but misses some key points). The simple bicycle is awesome for the reasons I'll summarize below.

The ultimate choice for Zombie Survival transportation!

First and foremost - a bike never runs out of gas. Almost any zombie movie you watch will feature some struggle with cars running out of gas or people fighting over limited gas supplies. Inevitably, some survivors die in the conflict or are caught when zombies catch up to their powerless cars. Once it's out of gas, a car is just a cage, holding you until the zombies come. Windows are no match for the beating of dozens of undead fists of the zombies that have surrounded you while you thought you were still safe!

Second, bikes are essentially silent, while cars are loud. Go stand next to a freeway and you will instantly see how loud a car is (and hundreds of them especially). Since noise attracts the undead, the quieter you can be the better! A properly maintained bike will cruise along without creaks or squeaks, carrying you in silent safety from the undead.

As alluded to above, bikes are generally quick and easy to maintain. If you know how to fix a flat, lube your chain, change/repair the chain, and have a few spare parts, a solid steel-framed bike could last you basically forever. Best of all, all the tools for this would weigh no more than a few pounds and many could be easily found as well. Didn't stock up on your chain lube? Just find a broken down car and drain the oil and use that!

For a basic kit, I'd suggest some tubes, tires (you can get nice folding tires now that hardly take up space), chain lube, chains, a basic multi-tool, a nice floor pump that fits both presta and shrader valves, and a set of hex wrenches (or use the Park 3-Way Wrench, which could double as a close-combat weapon!). If you have a group of cyclists, you can easily split up the kit and have an even better supplied tool kit with which you can fix just about anything. Plus, you can use many of the same parts on different bikes, eliminating the need to carry too many extras.

Next - you won't get stuck on a bike like in a car. Again, watch any zombie movie or TV show (The Walking Dead is a perfect example) and you'll see the group of survivors get stuck on a freeway crowded with abandoned cars. This would never happen on a bike, where you could easily weave around the stalled cars. In addition, you can easily take the right bike off-road. Any decent mountain bike will give you a huge advantage over a car. No matter how well a car is built for going off-road, a bike is better prepared and can go more places. And on a bike, if the going gets too tough, you can get off and push or carry it.

Lastly, while most people suggest that a bike is limited by what it can carry, that's definitely not true! You can easily outfit your bike with panniers or a trailer to carry a ton of stuff or choose one specifically designed for the purpose like an Xtracycle, Surly Big Dummy, or a cargo bike! A cargo bike isn't quite as adept at going off-road and can't be carried as easily, but it's still much more versatile than a car, plus has all the other benefits discussed above!

The folks in Portland have outlined the great utility of the bike for disaster relief and many of the same principles would apply to a zombie outbreak: http://bikeportland.org/2013/07/13/disaster-relief-trials-bring-30-miles-of-urban-apocalyptica-back-to-portland-90373  So if you want to be the best prepared for the undead, forget your car and outfit your bike! As a special benefit, same applies for your daily commute or running errands - your bike is often the best vehicle for the job!

Bad Infrastructure = Bad Behavior

Do cyclists who ride on sidewalks bother you? Do you get annoyed when someone takes the lane in front of you and "slows you down"? Think all those cyclists rolling through stop signs are a bunch of idiots? You're as much to blame for that as anyone!

See, here's the issue - as I've touched on before, one of the primary reasons for all of the above behaviors is bad infrastructure. Cyclists don't generally ride on the sidewalk because they want to - it's often crowded, you have to ride slower, and the facts show it's actually much less safe than riding in the street, even with no bike facilities. But for most sidewalk riders, it's about perception. Given the choice of having cars zoom by mere inches away in some cases, or ride on the sidewalk, the safer option in many cyclists' heads is to head to the sidewalk.

I observed this time and time again with a bike lane near my house. The lanes, which had continued for over a mile, abruptly ended several blocks from the next major intersection with nothing more than a tiny sign (seen above) and most people (especially those with children in tow) would transition over to the sidewalk. Given high vehicle speeds (due to speeding, not an inherently fast speed limit), I can certainly sympathize with the choice. But what this really illustrates is that if you want to avoid bad behavior, avoid bad infrastructure. I never observed someone riding on the sidewalk in the stretch with bike lanes (aside from children, who are allowed to do so). It was only the bad infrastructure design that dropped the bike lanes that caused them to make that choice.

What constitutes bad infrastructure? Well, any number of things, but especially notable are transitions from good to bad. As mentioned above, bike lanes abruptly ending is one example. I've mentioned before the example near AT&T Park where a cyclist was killed after the bike lane she was riding in abruptly ends and she was hit and killed by a cement truck.

Other examples include band-aid infrastructure improvements - most often in the case of sharrows. Because these markings mostly do nothing (especially because they haven't been accompanied by education as to what they actually represent for drivers and cyclists), they often aren't heeded by cyclists, who instead continue to ride in the door-zone and car drivers still don't give bikes safe space due to impatience. Separated trails often just end - as I recently encountered approaching the Berkeley Marina along a new Bay Trail extension. I'm heading along a beautiful trail, when all the sudden, BAM, I'm dropped into a gravel parking lot with no signs as to where I should go. Granted this is new, so maybe markings are still coming, but when was the last time you ever drove down a road that didn't say very clearly that it was a dead end or not a through street?

Next time someone complains that cyclists don't deserve better infrastructure until they all follow the rules, keep in mind that much bike infrastructure is designed in a way that basically encourages cyclists NOT to follow the rules out of concern for their own safety or schedule. For a great example of how good infrastructure works, SFMTA recently installed protected bike lanes along the Great Highway near the Cliff House. I used to ride up the sidewalk in this stretch. It's wide, generally not too crowded, and as a natural continuation of the trail along the beach, it was convenient too. However, now that they installed the lanes pictured below, I made sure to use them, since I want to leave pedestrians with the sidewalk. Now that I have a safe way to head up this route (since you're especially vulnerable when going uphill and slowed down), I'll choose that every time! Improvements like this are a great example of getting it right with infrastructure!